


Underwater Volcano Lair Escapade

by Anyawen



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 007 Fest 2020, Aquariums, Don't copy to another site, Gen, aquatic magpie collecting shiny things, no octopus were harmed in the writing of this fic, team00, unplanned swim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:35:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25366213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anyawen/pseuds/Anyawen
Summary: Bond has to retrieve a thumb drive. The current holder of the thumb drive has other ideas.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Underwater Volcano Lair Escapade

**Author's Note:**

> Fills the 2020 007 fest classic table prompts ‘volcano lair’ and ‘underwater escapade’

"009 said he left the thumb drive where?" Bond asked as he stalked through the darkened shop. Tanks of tropical fish lined the walls, their darting movements just visible in the dim light, catching his eye as he peered into the shadows for any sign of his fellow agent or the target he'd been chasing.

"With Hades," came Q's reply.

Bond stopped. He looked around at the aquariums. If 009 was going to be making mythological references, Poseidon or Neptune seemed far more apt. But surely he'd misheard.

"Come again?"

"'With Hades,'" Q repeated. "I don't know what it means either, but if he left it with someone, we'll need to bring them in, too. 009 obviously thinks they're trustworthy, but Mallory will want to question them."

Bond continued moving through the shop. As he came forward through the store he moved from the tanks of fish for sale by species into larger display cases with coral and anemones and diverse groups of fish in reef tanks. Aside from the various aquatic denizens, there was no one in the building.

"There's no one here, Q," he said, lowering his Walther and flipping on a pen light. "Nor any door to the underworld, as far as I can tell."

"The tracker on the thumb drive says it's in that building, and 009 said he left it with Hades."

"Your tracker can't get more precise than 'in the building'?" Bond asked.

"It's behaving oddly," Q replied. "The signal is there, but it's muted somehow. As though it's coming from—"

"Under water," Bond finished, shining his light on the information placard on the largest display aquarium in the shop. "I've found Hades."

"Oh?"

"When 009 checks in, tell him I'm going to feed him to the fishes."

"Bond?" Q asked. "Who is Hades? Do you require backup?"

"I require scuba gear," Bond replied irritably. He holstered his gun and cupped a hand around his eyes to peer into the tank.

"He threw it into one of the tanks? That would definitely explain the issues with the tracker signal. I'll have a word with engineering ..."

Bond hummed a response and moved around the tank, looking for a light switch. The tank was large, roughly four feet long, four feet high and two and a half feet deep. It was situated on top of a sturdy three foot tall platform of solid oak.

The light switch, when he found it, illuminated a 300 gallon tank, home to myriad ghost shrimp, a handful of shore crabs, a dozen sea stars, and Hades.

In reaction to the unexpected flood of light, Hades, a zebra octopus, scuttled back into a crevice in a roughly conical piece of rock, on which a bright red sea star was positioned over the top. It looked a bit like a volcano, with lava just beginning to run down the sides, Bond decided, and briefly re-thought his claim about not finding a door to the underworld.

He inspected the contents of the aquarium as best he could while keeping an ear out in case anyone came to investigate the lights, peering through the reflections on the glass, hoping to find the missing thumb drive. He saw no sign of it.

"He definitely said he left it with Hades?" Bond asked, taking off his shoes and jacket and unbuttoning his shirt.

"He did. Who is Hades?"

"An octopus."

"A what?"

"According to the sign, it's an ‘ _octopus horridus_ ’ - a zebra octopus. It's currently holed up in it's bloody volcano lair at the bottom of a three-hundred-gallon tank."

"And the thumb drive?"

"It's not visible on the bottom of the tank. Could be caught in the crannies of one of the other large pieces of rock in the aquarium. Given the habits of octopuses, though, it's likely that Hades has it," Bond replied, slipping out of his trousers. "I'll be off comms for a bit."

"What are you doing?"

"Going fishing," Bond answered, taking the earwig from his ear and dropping it on top of the pile of clothing on the shop floor.

Dressed in just his pants, he climbed the maintenance ladder on the side of the tank and pried open the heavy, tightly-fitted cover, muttering imprecations at 009 under his breath. As the cold water closed over his head, he made plans to change the man's ringtone to 'Baby Shark'. First, though, it was time to go bargain with Hades.


End file.
